"Instead we just keep smiling..."

"Ask most people what they want out of life and the answer is simple - to be happy.  Maybe it's this expectation though of wanting to be happy that just keeps us from ever getting there.  Maybe the more we try to will ourselves to states of bliss, the more confused we get - to the point where we don't recognize ourselves.  Instead we just keep smiling, trying like hell to be the happy people we wish we were."       - Meredith Grey

We only get one shot at life, so it's understandable that we would have high expectations of what we want from the world.  Who we want to spend our lives with, what we want to spend them doing, where we want to live them, and perhaps most importantly how we want to live them.  These all seem like such important questions, and the failure to answer one of them correctly could result in a future far from that which we have dreamed.  We spend our lives constantly searching for the answers to these questions - hoping and praying that we answer correctly.  But the reality is that our lives are a series of trial and error attempts at happiness.  It's okay to answer incorrectly at times.  Life will take us where we need to be - that's destiny.

But what if we don't like our destiny?  What if our destiny does not include the happiness we continuously search for?  What if we never find that one person to complete us - our truly better half - the one person who just makes life easy?  What if all the things we expect from life never fall into place?  What if our expectations are simply too high?  What if...?

Sometimes I feel like I'm waiting for something that is never going to happen.  But without it there is a void - deep in my soul something is missing.  Until I find whatever this missing piece of me is, I think I will alway feel a sense of disappointment.  So instead I'll just keep smiling, trying like hell to be the happy person I wish I was.  Until life can give me something better.