People Always Leave

"Do you ever wake up in the morning, realize nobody likes you and, I don't know...care??"
              -Izzie Stephens

You don't realize it until all of a sudden.  You think you have people in your life to support you and love you and be with you.  Then slowly they start to disappear, one by one.  Some of them leave by choice, like they couldn't get away fast enough.  Others leave because they have to, but it doesn't take long for them to realize they like their new life better anyway.  They make new friends, new memories, and they lose reason to keep in touch.  Their lives weren't anything special because of their knowing you, so they move on to that new place and leave you behind to navigate alone through your own cloud of misery.  And they never care to look back.  Still others stand directly in front of you, yet look right through you like you're a ghost in their ever-progressing lives while you're stuck in timeless space - trapped with no one to help you escape; no one to help you get through the days; no one to talk to or even listen to.  You are completely alone.  No one cares to confide in you or turn to you for advice, and no one cares enough to listen to your own troubles.  Or they pretend to care but then only judge you later on once you've spilled your deepest and most personal thoughts and secrets.  Everyone judges you - for the things you say, the way you act, the way you feel...even for the way you choose to express those feelings.  It's constant judgement from everyone all the time.  Inescapable.  Condescending.

All of this happens day by day, a little at a time until everyone has successfully managed to remove themselves from your life.  Until one morning you wake up and realize that your life is empty; void of any and all meaning and motivation.  You begin to lose any sense of purpose that you may have once had.  You lose reason to study, to diet and stay fit, to do anything really.  You lose it all because you realize that you have no one.  You don't know how it happened that you have no one...but you have no one.  So why bother?  Who is there to impress?  Who is there to compete with?  Who is there to love?  Who is there to live for?  The answer is no one.  The answer is always no one.  Because somehow you managed to become disliked by the world.  Everyone has deserted you.  Or maybe you've pushed them all away.